Jules

Got the call I was dreading

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Jules

We all agree that immigration is especially hard when leaving older parents behind.
My mom back in Cape Town had been very ill the past 2 weeks. Her health went downhill just after I moved her into a retirement home. She was in frailcare the last few days.

When my phone rang at 3am this Thanksgiving weekend I knew it was bad news. My mother passed away peacefully with some of her sisters and brothers at her side. I'm glad she is no longer suffering and at peace now.
I'm flying to Cape Town tomorrow for funeral on Saturday. It's the closing of a big chapter and what has been a source of guilt for many years. I always felt guilty leaving my parents alone (dad passed away 5 years ago).
I'm just grateful neither of them suffered at the end and passed fast & peacefully.
It's a tough part of immigration.
:-(

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Lizelle

I am so sorry to hear.

Sterkte with everything.

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Wolverine

Stay strong Jules. Condolences.

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Cathy K

I know how you feel. It is truly sad.

My Mom died three years ago and I wasn't able to attend the funeral.

Now are dearest friends in South Africa are succumbing to illness and the frailty of old age. I would have loved to also see them one more time. 

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chayne

I'm so sorry for your loss. Deepest condolences.

Have a safe trip.

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Rddm2017

Sorry to hear about your loss.

Please travel safe :)

Edited by Rddm2017

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SunshineGirl
3 hours ago, Jules said:

We all agree that immigration is especially hard when leaving older parents behind.
My mom back in Cape Town had been very ill the past 2 weeks. Her health went downhill just after I moved her into a retirement home. She was in frailcare the last few days.

When my phone rang at 3am this Thanksgiving weekend I knew it was bad news. My mother passed away peacefully with some of her sisters and brothers at her side. I'm glad she is no longer suffering and at peace now.
I'm flying to Cape Town tomorrow for funeral on Saturday. It's the closing of a big chapter and what has been a source of guilt for many years. I always felt guilty leaving my parents alone (dad passed away 5 years ago).
I'm just grateful neither of them suffered at the end and passed fast & peacefully.
It's a tough part of immigration.
:-(

@Jules, so sorry to hear this news.  We live in Cape Town, so please do give me a shout if you need help with anything.

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Stefan

I feel for you, bru.  Peace.

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Nelline

I am sorry to hear your sad news. Safe travels and I hope the grieving process helps you ultimately to find peace in your heart about the decisions made - I know how this feels. 

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zandekock

@Jules so sorry for your loss, heartfelt condolences.

safe travels

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Gary van der Westhuizen

@Jules so so so sorry for your loss!!! You are in our prayers! 

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Freddy
9 hours ago, Jules said:

We all agree that immigration is especially hard when leaving older parents behind.
My mom back in Cape Town had been very ill the past 2 weeks. Her health went downhill just after I moved her into a retirement home. She was in frailcare the last few days.

When my phone rang at 3am this Thanksgiving weekend I knew it was bad news. My mother passed away peacefully with some of her sisters and brothers at her side. I'm glad she is no longer suffering and at peace now.
I'm flying to Cape Town tomorrow for funeral on Saturday. It's the closing of a big chapter and what has been a source of guilt for many years. I always felt guilty leaving my parents alone (dad passed away 5 years ago).
I'm just grateful neither of them suffered at the end and passed fast & peacefully.
It's a tough part of immigration.
:-(

Accept my condolences and travel safe.

May the Lord grant the family the fortitude to bear the loss.

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MaryJane

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. My deepest condolences.

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Annasofe13

I am so sorry to hear about your mother, will be thinking of you and your family during this time. Thank you for sharing this experience with us, you are in our prayers.

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GerdaT

Thinking about you! I pray that you find peace in this difficult time.

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JeffH

Hey Jules, 

Yes this is not often spoken about but it is one of the toughest parts - leaving older family behind. Having just gone through this myself, I know how you are feeling - guilt, sadness, at a loss etc. I bet in some ways you want to be back in SA with close family. In my case, it was always the plan to sponsor my parents after my first 3 years here - however, fate (or crime in SA to be honest) intervened and I ran out of time. The call came much much sooner than expected (about 10 years too soon). On the plus side, I'm glad I left SA since this forced me to keep the relationship with my mom alive (after I moved) more than if was living in SA. 

Stay strong and don't let the guilt get to you - I doubt your parents would ever hold it against you - not that I know your situation. I'm sure your mom was happy for you - if she saw you were happy with your decision. There are always mixed feelings though. It's really tough to close that chapter normally, double as much when you live on the other side of the world. 

To everyone else, make sure you strengthen and maintain relationships with those "left behind". We tend to take this for granted and run out of time before we know it. 

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graciax452

Thinking of you during this sad time, praying for you and your family. May her soul rest in peace.

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Nettie

Sorry to hear this @Jules. My condolences to you and your family.

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kodacat

So sorry for your loss @Jules

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Dep

I m sorry for your loss, may the Lord strengthen you in this time

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LiezelJ

@Jules sorry for your loss. Strongs for you and your family.

That is also the harsh reality that we will have to face one day, but its worth it though. Keep well. :hug:

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Jules

Thank you all for the kind words. Truly appreciated.

The funeral is now behind me which was a day I never wanted to have to face. But it's done now. All that is left is some paper work Monday and Tuesday to close her accounts. She had no will and there is no monetary value in her estate so I'm just trying to close and settle her accounts because it's the right thing to do. 

I fly out Wednesday back to Canada. 

For those still in SA waiting to leave and if your folks are still alive then treasure this time and don't rush and wish time away while you wait. One day you will look back and realize just how priceless this time was!

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